The little kitchen lights worked hard that night – illuminating words on pages and screens – they cast a soothing glow upon the tabletop that seemed to dance with each rustle of turning pages. My family and I sat peacefully, enjoying the quiet evening, the chance to rest after the busyness of that week. The iPad diligently relayed waves of adoration songs, voices raised in worship to the one omnipotent God. So we listened and we talked, we read and we shared. Then, as the chatter gave stilled to silence as each read on his or her own, I felt a gentle yet very persuasive tug at my heart. I paused for only a moment, then literally ran straight into my room – the secret place.
Something was still tugging at my heart as I lay on my bed and asked a great myriad of questions. In the end, all were just subordinates of one over-arching question – “Lord, what is on your mind, what is on your heart?” I remembered the words of a beautiful song, one which captured the yearning of my heart:
“I wanna sit at Your feet
Drink from the cup in Your hand
Lay back against you and breathe
Feel Your heartbeat.”
(lyrics – “The more I seek You” by Kari Jobe)
There was a bursting forth of delight and joy as I lifted up my voice to praise my Lord. From the longing in my heart, the adoration flowed forth, a release of worship in words the Holy Spirit prompted from within me. There are times of striving, times of searching, times of perseverance and refining in the desert. Then, there are times like this – when the floodgates of heaven are opened and fresh springs of living water burst out from within us.
“He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said,
out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.”
I found myself wrapped up snug in the wonderful embrace of my Lover. It’s an embrace that is true and tangible, one which is faithful and so secure that I never want to leave. It’s an embrace that soothes me with peace so that I rest in heightened awareness of its loveliness, eager to breathe in the fullness of its scent. “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!” [Psalm 34:8] In my joy and desire for my Lover’s presence, I cried out:
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth –
For your love is better than wine.
Because of the fragrance of your good ointments,
Your name is like ointment poured forth;
Therefore the virgins love you.
Draw me away!”
[Song of Solomon 1:2-4]
I lay, with a smile upon my lips as the joy, peace and beauty of the Lord swept over me. I lay still, savouring every moment of His incredible presence, resting in the shadow of my Good Shepherd. He is a faithful Shepherd, one who cares for each of His flock, and who earnestly looks for His lost or injured sheep. He is the Good Shepherd who carries the lame, sets the lonely in families, speaks hope into the hopeless and strengthens the weak.
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I trust.”
Then I found myself sitting at the edge of a high place, beside my Lord. I looked up and I saw His eyes. They were captivating and so full of expression – deep, dark and bold eyes overflowing with an overwhelming presence. They were eyes that contained deep mystery, eyes that held the whole universe from before the beginning of time to after the end of all days. They were eyes that had drunk the full cup of suffering and anguish, eyes that had danced the most vivacious dance of joy, eyes that were saturated with incomprehensible love, eyes that gazed with longing and desire. They were gateways to see a patient, and kind heart.
The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying:
“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;
therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.
He was looking into the distance – His eyes focussed on a woman kneeling in the desert. As He gazed upon her, He began to weep. “Why are You weeping, Lord?” I asked. He answered me, with great love and desire in His voice – “Oh how I long for her to turn her eyes, to see how deeply I love her! My desire is for all to have eternal life and experience the inheritance given through the Promise of the Father. If only she would turn, then she would see how I long for her, how I would give all to give her fullness of life. My desire is for her, to be with her in eternity.” [Matthew 18:14, 2 Peter 3:9]
You are all fair, my love,
And there is no spot in you.
Come with me from Lebanon, my spouse
[Song of Solomon 4:7]
I gazed into the eyes of my King and my Lord and, I also began to weep. Ever tear of His was filled with passion and a patient, yet fervent call – “Return to me, my beloved one, for I will give you life.” As the Lord interceded for His church, I also began to intercede for whenever one turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. When the veil is taken away, we behold as in a mirror the glory of God and are transformed into His likeness by the Spirit [2 Corinthians 3:16-18]. He is interceding night and day, constantly gazing with eyes of love upon His church, upon His beloved ones.
“Come, let us turn to the Lord
for He’s called us each His own
Come let us love for He said
You have ravished me, my bride
I am yours and you are mine.”
(lyrics – “Pledge” by Misty Edwards)
His gaze is piercing to the heart, His voice like the sound of rushing waters, filled with a passion so deep it can only be proclaimed by the Creator of the Universe. His eyes move like an unquenchable flame, fuelled by an eternal love. His presence draws me in, and His Spirit shows me His heart. His words, He shares with me so that I also, might partner with Him and He intercedes with lovingkindess and a pure truth. His peace is a kingdom, His love a gift with no cost, his life poured out to be given to us, and His faithfulness heavy with grace. My heart has been swallowed in His expanding love and I will follow the Lamb wherever He goes. Let the Spirit and the Bride say “Come!”
And the Spirit and the bride say, “Come!”
And let him who hears say, “Come!”
And let him who thirsts come.
Whoever desires, let him take
the water of life freely.